Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Video You Must See !
Listen To The God's Whisper !
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World's Top 9 Most Polluted Places
9 Of The Most Polluted Places In The World
China Pollution, Citarum River,
Doe Run, Doe Run Peru, Dzerzhinsk, Environment, Environment Pollution, Indonesia, L.A., La Oroya, Lake Karachay, Linfen, London, London Pollution, Los Angeles, Los Angeles Pollution, Most Polluted Cities, Niger Delta, Niger Delta Oil, Niger Delta Oil Pollution, Nuclear Waste, Peru, Phoenix, Russia, Russia Pollution, Slidepollajax, Water-Pollution, World's Most Polluted Cities, Green News
From the highways of Los Angeles to the Citarum River of Bandung, Indonesia, earth's most polluted city of Linfen, China to the streets of London, the world is laden with man-made pollution. Chemical, air, water and oil pollution ruin the environment, cause premature deaths, spoil the world's resources and worsen climate change.
As the world's population soars to nearly 7 billion, we here at HuffPost Green thought that it time to investigate some of the world's most polluted places. Check out our slideshow of nine of the most polluted places in the world. Find out which city's death rate surpasses its birth rate by 260 percent. Or which city has 50,000 people die prematurely each year due to man-made air pollution. As always, we want to hear from you. Tell us what you think in the comments.
Lowest Unemployment States
10 States With Ridiculously Low Unemployment -- And Why
Provided by the Business Insider:
Every U.S. state experienced job losses during the recent downturn, but thanks to the right mix of industries, natural resources, and skilled workers, some states have a far lower unemployment rate than the 9.5% national average.
Want to crack the jobs problem? Let's start by studying these sources of American strength...
First, a broad look at America's situation
Unemployment Rate: 9.5%
The economy: Agriculture (1.2% of GDP), Industry (21.9% of GDP), Services (76.9% of GDP)
Education: 27.5% of the adult population has a Bachelor's degree or higher.
Now, the Top 10 States For Jobs
1. North Dakota: Powered by agriculture and commodities
Unemployment Rate: 3.6%
Lower Than America's Unemployment Rate By: 5.9%
Major Industries Driving The State's Economy: Agriculture, petroleum, food processing, and tourism dominate the nation's most job-friendly state.
Education: 25.7% of the adult population has a Bachelor's degree or higher. (Lower than average)
2. South Dakota: Gets a big boost from government, but also has services and agriculture
Unemployment Rate: 4.4%
Lower Than America's Unemployment Rate By: 5.1%
Major Industries Driving The State's Economy: The service sector (especially retail, health, and finance firms) dominates South Dakota's economy, although government-related enterprises also form a large chunk of the GDP. Ellsworth Air Force Base is the second-largest single employer here. Agriculture also contributes heavily to the economy, but its influence is waning.
Education: 25.0% of the adult population has a Bachelor's degree or higher. (Lower than average)
3. Nebraska: An agricultural and transport hub, with some diversity as well
Unemployment Rate: 4.7%
Lower Than America's Unemployment Rate By: 4.8%
Major Industries Driving The State's Economy: Another state reliant on its agricultural sector, Nebraska also specializes in freight transport, telecommunications, manufacturing, information technology, and transportation. And, not to mention, it has the nation's third-wealthiest person amidst its GDP rank.
Education: 27.5% of the adult population has a Bachelor's degree or higher. (Average)
4. New Hampshire: Powered by agriculture, tourism, manufacturing, and a highly educated population
Unemployment Rate: 5.8%
Lower Than America's Unemployment Rate By: 3.7%
Major Industries Driving The State's Economy: Another agricultural heavyweight (dairy products, cattle, and apples dominate on the list of products), New Hampshire also produces machinery, electric equipment, rubber, and plastic products. Due to its famous ski slopes, the state is also a tourist hub come winter. New Hampshire also doesn't have a state income or sales tax and boasts one of the nation's highest median salaries.
Education: 32.5% of the adult population has a Bachelor's degree or higher. (Higher than average)
5. Vermont: Driven by agriculture and industries utilizing the state's highly educated population
Unemployment Rate: 6.0%
Lower Than America's Unemployment Rate By: 3.5%
Major Industries Driving The State's Economy: Farming (especially dairy production and logging) is the bread and butter of Vermont's economy, although manufacturing, insurance, tourism, and quarrying are also major players. Vermont's housing is also quite affordable, as the state ranks 17th in mortgage affordability nationwide.
Education: 33.6% of the adult population has a Bachelor's degree or higher. (Higher than average)
6. Hawaii: A tourism magnet with a large population of affluent Americans
Unemployment Rate: 6.3%
Lower Than America's Unemployment Rate By: 3.2%
Major Industries Driving The State's Economy: Tourism dominates this tax-heavy state while food and apparel exports play more minor roles (given the distance of the islands from all other land source). Also, rich folks apparently love to camp out in Hawaii as much as they might like Florida (the state had the highest percentage of millionaires in the general population).
Education: 29.2% of the adult population has a Bachelor's degree or higher. (Higher than average)
7. Kansas: Powered by agriculture, energy, and aerospace
Unemployment Rate: 6.5%
Lower Than America's Unemployment Rate By: 3.0%
Major Industries Driving The State's Economy: Kansas isn't the land of Dorothy anymore, although it is still a major grain producer and retains its agricultural roots. These days, the state is also a major oil and natural gas producer and is also a hub of the aerospace industry.
% of adult population with a Bachelor's degree or more: 28.8% (Higher than average)
8. Wyoming: Riding commodities, tourism, and perhaps its tax policies. Doing well despite low levels of education.
Unemployment Rate: 6.7%
Lower Than America's Unemployment Rate By: 2.8%
Major Industries Driving The State's Economy: Mineral extraction, agriculture, and tourism drive Wyoming's largely rural economy. The tourism industry alone accounts for over $2 billion of the state's annual revenue. The state is also known for its unusual tax policies -- no individual or corporate income tax and only a 4% sales tax on select items.
Education: 23.4% of the adult population has a Bachelor's degree or higher. (Lower than average)
9. Minnesota: A state with manufacturing, raw materials, and high education
Unemployment Rate: 6.8%
Lower Than America's Unemployment Rate By: 2.7%
Major Industries Driving The State's Economy: Again, the theme here is diversity. Minnesota's economy is home to a variety of firms in the finished products, services, and raw materials sectors and 33 of the nation's top 1000 publicly-traded firms have headquarters in the state.
Education: 31.0% of the adult population has a Bachelor's degree or higher. (Higher than average)
10. Iowa: Outperforming with a diverse economy plus agriculture
Unemployment Rate: 6.8%
Lower Than America's Unemployment Rate By: 2.7%
Major Industries Driving The State's Economy: While commonly perceived as an agricultural hub, Iowa actually boasts a surprisingly diverse economy with jobs in the manufacturing, biotech, finance, insurance, and government services -- all of which contribute to a strong hiring market. The S&P gave the state a Triple-A rating in 2009 (only one of nine to hold the position then).
Education: 24.3% of the adult population has a Bachelor's degree or higher. (Lower than average)
Lessons To Remember
Five (5) lessons about the way we treat people
1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady.
During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one:
"What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"
Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50's, but how would I know her name?
I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.
"Absolutely, " said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant.. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello."
I've never forgotten that lesson.. I also learned her name was Dorothy.
2. - Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain
One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rain storm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride.
Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960's. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab.
It read:
"Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's' bedside just before he passed away... God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others."
Sincerely,
Mrs. Nat King Cole.
3 - Third Important Lesson - Always remember those who serve.
In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.
"How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked. "Fifty cents," replied the waitress.
The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.
"Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired.
By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient. "Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied.
The little boy again counted his coins. "I'll have the plain ice cream," he said.
The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left..
When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies..
You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.
4 - Fourth Important Lesson. - The obstacle in Our Path.
In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock.
Some of the king's' wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the king for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.
Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the king indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand!
Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.
5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts...
Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness.
The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister.
I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes I'll do it if it will save her."
As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away".
Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.
love like you've never been hurt,
Saturday, August 28, 2010
77
I knew about the red light on cars,
but not the #77
It was about 1:00 pm in the afternoon, and a gal was driving to visit a friend when an UNMARKED police car pulled up behind her and put his lights on.
She had always been taught to never to pull over for an unmarked car on the side of the road, but rather to wait until they get to a gas station, etc.
So the gal promptly called #77 on her cell phone to tell the police dispatcher that she would not pull over right away. She proceeded to tell the dispatcher that there was an unmarked police car with a flashing red light on his rooftop behind her...... The dispatcher checked to see if there were police cars where she was and there weren't, he told her to keep driving, remain calm and that he had back up already on the way.
Ten minutes later 4 cop cars surrounded her and the unmarked car behind her. One policeman went
to her side and the others surrounded the car behind. They pulled the guy from the car and tackled him to the ground. The man was a convicted rapist and wanted for other crimes.
I never knew about the #77 Cell Phone Feature, but especially for a woman alone in a car, you should
not pull over for an unmarked car. Apparently police have to respect your right to keep going to a safe
quiet place. You obviously need to make some signals that you acknowledge them, i..e.. put on your
hazard lights & call #77 .
Too bad the cell phone companies don't generally give you this little bit of wonderful information.
Sn-opes confirmed that #77 was a direct link to State trooper info. in all 50 states.
So, now it's your turn to let your friends know about #77.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Life Rules To Remember And Follow
ONE . Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully .
TWO . Marry a man/woman you love to talk to . As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other .
THREE .. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want .
FOUR . When you say, 'I love you,' mean it .
FIVE . When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye .
SIX . Be engaged at least six months before you get married .
SEVEN .. Believe in love at first sight .
EIGHT . Never laugh at anyone's dreams . People who don't have dreams don't have much .
NINE . Love deeply and passionately . You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely .
TEN . . In disagreements, fight fairly . No name calling .
ELEVEN . Don't judge people by their relatives .
TWELVE . Talk slowly but think quickly .
THIRTEEN! . . . When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'
FOURTEEN . Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk .
FIFTEEN . Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze ..
SIXTEEN . . When you lose, don't lose the lesson ..
SEVENTEEN . Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions .
EIGHTEEN . Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship .
NINETEEN . When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it .
TWENTY . . Smile when picking up the phone . The caller will hear it in your voice .
TWENTY- ONE . Spend some time alone .
A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart
Love Machine
5 signs he’s into you
By Chelsea Kaplan
Five signs your date is into you…
1. He closes the distance
“First and foremost, moving in closer indicates a desire for more intimate contact,” Hartley says. So if a guy you’re talking to at a party inches a little closer as you talk, or your date slides into the same side of the booth as you, you know he wants to get to know you better — and not as a friend.
2. He speaks softly
When a man talks in a quieter voice, it’s an excellent sign, Hartley explains. “He’s indicating that what he’s saying is for your ears only,” he says. “If he’s telling you something private or secret, it’s a good thing — guys don’t do that to women they’re not into.” If you want to let that soft-talker know you feel the same way, respond in kind, which should quickly turn those sparks into an all-out fire. Caveat: If you’re in a loud club or restaurant where you have to shout to be heard, you can’t tell anything by his decibel level. So wait until you’re walking or driving home to see whether he’s turned the volume down.
3. He rounds his posture
Hypermasculine body language (think: swaggering walk, standing tall with shoulders back and chin up, etc.) serves to attract women from a distance. But when a guy is talking close-up with a woman he likes, he will soften, or “round” his body language, Hartley notes. If your guy’s squared shoulders cave in when he’s chatting with you, he’s indicating that he feels comfortable and secure in your presence.
4. He talks slowwwly
5. He can’t take his eyes off you (in a good way)
So his eyes are locked on yours? As long as it isn’t a psycho stare, but rather a lingering, heavy-lidded, “Wow, you’re amazing” gaze, that guy is digging you big-time, Harley says.
…and 5 signs your date isn’t into you
1. He’s four feet away
If his motto may as well be The Police’s “Don’t Stand So Close to Me”, he’s not feelin’ you romantically, Hartley says. How do you define such a distance? “If he remains four feet or more away from you, it is a clear signal that his heart’s not in it,” says Hartley.
2. He stands at an oblique angle facing you
“Most men do not realize that when talking to another man, we stand at oblique angles, with one shoulder facing the other’s face, yet when we talk to women — especially ones we’re interested in romantically — we stand face-to-face with them,” Hartley says. If your guy’s shoulder is pointing in the direction of your face during conversation, he’s subconsciously showing disinterest or is trying to turn you off, Hartley explains.
3. He sounds like that guy in accounting
If your date is talking to you like you’re someone at the office — meaning, the pace is quick and the level of his voice is rather strong — “he’s probably just trying to keep it on a friendship level,” Hartley says. With time, you might notice a change — after all, he just might want to keep it “professional” on the first date or two while he gets to know you — but if it remains this way after a few dates, cut your losses.
4. He stares at your mouth
When a guy focuses on your lips, what he’s really trying to do is avoid eye contact, Hartley explains. “If he’s avoiding eye contact, you can pretty safely assume he’s not into you,” he asserts. If your date fixes his gaze below your face, he’s probably interested in you, but perhaps not for a long-term relationship, if you know what we mean…
5. He’s out of sync with your body language
When a guy is romantically interested in you, he will mimic your body language, so if he doesn’t copy you gesture for gesture, odds are he isn’t smitten, Hartley says. To test the waters, try leaning in closer to your date, using your hands to emphasize what you’re saying. If your guy does the same, it’s a great sign. But if he keeps his hands still, pulls away or takes a step backwards, he may be unavailable or just plain not interested.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Stay Hearthealthy
Happy and healthy living.
A chat with Dr.Devi Shetty, Narayana Hrudayalaya
(Heart Specialist) Bangalore was arranged by WIPRO for its employees .
The transcript of the chat is given below. Useful for everyone.
Qn: What are the thumb rules for a layman to take care of his heart?
Ans:
1. Diet - Less of carbohydrate, more of protein, less oil
2. Exercise - Half an hour's walk, at least five days a week; avoid lifts and avoid sitting for a longtime
3. Quit smoking
4. Control weight
5. Control blood pressure and sugar
Qn: Is eating non-veg food (fish) good for the heart?
Ans: No
Qn: It's still a grave shock to hear that some apparently healthy person
gets a cardiac arrest. How do we understand it in perspective?
Ans: This is called silent attack; that is why we recommend everyone past the age of 30 to undergo routine health checkups.
Qn: Are heart diseases hereditary?
Ans: Yes
Qn: What are the ways in which the heart is stressed? What practices do you suggest to de-stress?
Ans: Change your attitude towards life. Do not look for perfection in everything in life.
Qn: Is walking better than jogging or is more intensive exercise required to keep a healthy heart?
Ans: Walking is better than jogging since jogging leads to early fatigue and injury to joints
Qn: You have done so much for the poor and needy. What has inspired you to do so?
Ans: Mother Theresa , who was my patient
Qn: Can people with low blood pressure suffer heart diseases?
Ans: Extremely rare
Qn: Does cholesterol accumulates right from an early age
(I'm currently only 22) or do you have to worry about it only after you are above 30 years of age?
Ans: Cholesterol accumulates from childhood.
Qn: How do irregular eating habits affect the heart ?
Ans: You tend to eat junk food when the habits are irregular and your body's enzyme release for digestion gets confused.
Qn: How can I control cholesterol content without using medicines?
Ans: Control diet, walk and eat walnut.
Qn: Can yoga prevent heart ailments?
Ans: Yoga helps.
Qn: Which is the best and worst food for the heart?
Ans: Fruits and vegetables are the best and the worst is oil.
Qn: Which oil is better - groundnut, sunflower, olive?
Ans: All oils are bad .
Qn: What is the routine checkup one should go through? Is there any specific test?
Ans: Routine blood test to ensure sugar, cholesterol is ok. Check BP, Treadmill test after an echo.
Qn: What are the first aid steps to be taken on a heart attack?
Ans: Help the person into a sleeping position , place an aspirin tablet under the tongue with a sorbitrate tablet if available, and rush him to a coronary care unit since the maximum casualty takes place within the first hour.
Qn: How do you differentiate between pain caused by a heart attack and that caused due to gastric trouble?
Ans: Extremely difficult without ECG.
Qn: What is the main cause of a steep increase in heart problems amongst youngsters? I see people of about 30-40 yrs of age having heart attacks and serious heart problems.
Ans: Increased awareness has increased incidents. Also, s edentary lifestyles, smoking, junk food, lack of exercise in a country where people are genetically three times more vulnerable for heart attacks than Europeans and Americans.
Qn: Is it possible for a person to have BP outside the normal range of 120/80 and yet be perfectly healthy?
Ans: Yes.
Qn: Marriages within close relatives can lead to heart problems for the child. Is it true?
Ans : Yes, co-sanguinity leads to congenital abnormalities and you may not have a software engineer as a child
Qn: Many of us have an irregular daily routine and many a times we have to stay late nights in office. Does this affect our heart ? What precautions would you recommend?
Ans : When you are young, nature protects you against all these irregularities. However, as you grow older, respect the biological clock.
Qn: Will taking anti-hypertensive drugs cause some other complications (short / long term)?
Ans : Yes, most drugs have some side effects. However, modern anti-hypertensive drugs are extremely safe.
Qn: Will consuming more coffee/tea lead to heart attacks?
Ans : No.
Qn: Are asthma patients more prone to heart disease?
Ans : No.
Qn: How would you define junk food?
Ans : Fried food like Kentucky , McDonalds , samosas, and even masala dosas.
Qn: You mentioned that Indians are three times more vulnerable. What is the reason for this, as Europeans and Americans also eat a lot of junk food?
Ans: Every race is vulnerable to some disease and unfortunately, Indians are vulnerable for the most expensive disease.
Qn: Does consuming bananas help reduce hypertension?
Ans : No.
Qn: Can a person help himself during a heart attack (Because we see a lot of forwarded emails on this)?
Ans : Yes. Lie down comfortably and put an aspirin tablet of any description under the tongue and ask someone to take you to the nearest coronary care unit without any delay and do not wait for the ambulance since most of the time, the ambulance does not turn up.
Qn: Do, in any way, low white blood cells and low hemoglobin count lead to heart problems?
Ans : No. But it is ideal to have normal hemoglobin level to increase your exercise capacity.
Qn: Sometimes, due to the hectic schedule we are not able to exercise. So, does walking while doing daily chores at home or climbing the stairs in the house, work as a substitute for exercise?
Ans : Certainly. Avoid sitting continuously for more than half an hour and even the act of getting out of the chair and going to another chair and sitting helps a lot.
Qn: Is there a relation between heart problems and blood sugar?
Ans: Yes. A strong relationship since diabetics are more vulnerable to heart attacks than non-diabetics.
Qn: What are the things one needs to take care of after a heart operation?
Ans : Diet, exercise, drugs on time , Control cholesterol, BP, weight.
Qn: Are people working on night shifts more vulnerable to heart disease when compared to day shift workers?
Ans : No.
Qn: What are the modern anti-hypertensive drugs?
Ans : There are hundreds of drugs and your doctor will chose the right combination for your problem, but my suggestion is to avoid the drugs and go for natural ways of controlling blood pressure by walk, diet to
reduce weight and changing attitudes towards lifestyles.
Qn: Does dispirin or similar headache pills increase the risk of heart attacks?
Ans : No.
Qn: Why is the rate of heart attacks more in men than in women?
Ans : Nature protects women till the age of 45.(Present Global census show that the Percentage of heart disease in women has increased than in men )
Qn: How can one keep the heart in a good condition?
Ans : Eat a healthy diet, avoid junk food, exercise everyday, do not smoke and, go for health checkup s if you are past the age of 30 ( once in six months recommended) ....
True Story !
This is a good story and is true, please read it all the way through until the end! (After the story, there are some very interesting facts!):
I am a mother of three (ages 14, 12, 3) and have recently completed my college degree.
The last class I had to take was Sociology.
The teacher was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human being had been graced with.
Her last project of the term was called, 'Smile.'
The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their reactions.
I am a very friendly person and always smile at everyone and say hello anyway. So, I thought this would be a piece of cake,
literally.
Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I went out to McDonald's one crisp March morning.
It was just our way of sharing special playtime with our son.
We were standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone around us began to back away, and then
even my husband did.
I did not move an inch... an overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside of me as I turned to see why they had moved.
As I turned around I smelled a horrible 'dirty body' smell, and there standing behind me were two poor homeless men.
As I looked down at the short gentleman, close to me, he was 'smiling'
His beautiful sky blue eyes were full of God's Light as he searched for acceptance.
He said, 'Good day' as he counted the few coins he had been clutching.
The second man fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend. I realized the second man was mentally challenged and the blue-eyed gentleman was his salvation.
I held my tears as I stood there with them.
The young lady at the counter asked him what they wanted.
He said, 'Coffee is all Miss' because that was all they could afford. (If they wanted to sit in the restaurant and warm up, they had to buy something. He just wanted to be warm).
Then I really felt it - the compulsion was so great I almost reached out and embraced the little man with the blue eyes.
That is when I noticed all eyes in the restaurant were set on me, judging my every action.
I smiled and asked the young lady behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a separate tray.
I then walked around the corner to the table that the men had chosen as a resting spot. I put the tray on the table and laid my hand on the blue-eyed gentleman's cold hand.
He looked up at me, with tears in his eyes, and said, 'Thank you.'
I leaned over, began to pat his hand and said, 'I did not do this for you. God is here working through me to give you hope.'
I started to cry as I walked away to join my husband and son. When I sat down my husband smiled at me and said, 'That is why God gave you to me, Honey, to give me hope..'
We held hands for a moment and at that time, we knew that only because of the Grace that we had been given were we able to give.
We are not church goers, but we are believers.
That day showed me the pure Light of God's sweet love.
I returned to college, on the last evening of class, with this story in hand.
I turned in 'my project' and the instructor read it.
Then she looked up at me and said, 'Can I share this?'
I slowly nodded as she got the attention of the class.
She began to read and that is when I knew that we as human beings and being part of God share this need to heal people and to be healed.
In my own way I had touched the people at McDonald's, my son,the instructor, and every soul that shared the classroom on the last night I spent as a college student.
I graduated with one of the biggest lessons I would ever learn:
UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE.
Much love and compassion is sent to each and every person who may read this and learn how to
LOVE PEOPLE AND USE THINGS -
NOT LOVE THINGS AND USE PEOPLE.
An Angel wrote:
Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart
To handle yourself, use your head..
To handle others, use your heart.
God Gives every bird it's food, but He does not throw it into its nest.
Send it back, you'll see why !
A box of gold
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
With a secret inside that has never been told
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
This box is priceless but as I see
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The treasure inside is precious to me
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Today I share this treasure with thee
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It's the treasure of friendship you've given me.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
If this comes back to you then you'll have a friend for life but, if this becomes deleted, you are not a friend.
Send this to everyone you consider a friend ..................
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Save Your Marriage ......................
SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP
1. Appreciation, Not Apathy
Vowing “'til death do us part” doesn't mean throwing in the towel when it comes to appreciating your spouse. That kind of complacency invites an apathy that slowly takes your bond for granted — and being taken for granted often leads to seeking value elsewhere. One of the smartest things a couple can do is to recognize that their relationship could end at any time. Internalizing this perspective cultivates an active gratitude, one that inspires a healthy urgency to show our loved one just how much we care. To help change your perspective, try asking yourself each morning: “Why do I value my spouse, and what one thing can I do today to show him?” It could be as simple as a spoken compliment, a short email to let him know he's in your thoughts or an impromptu dinner date for just the two of you. If you feel underappreciated, ask your husband to do the same. Don't go a single day without asserting your value to each other in some small way, and see what results.
2. It's Never Just About the Sex
The media portrays men as slaves to their libido, but most affairs are born out of a man's desire for emotional intimacy, not physical sensation. That said, the two have an interesting link for guys. “Some men do not develop a deep emotional connection [when it comes to sex],” says Ronald Levant, Ed.D., a gender researcher. “So a guy's only connection to intimacy may remain physical.” This is why when men crave more intimacy, they may turn to sex to fulfill that craving. How can you turn a man fearful of true intimacy into one who seeks it? It sounds simplistic, but try initiating sex. Being physically intimate with a man can serve to open him up emotionally.
3. Have an Empathetic Ear
While you may be used to saying whatever comes to mind with your best girl friend, men may feel more vulnerable sharing deeply personal thoughts and feelings. Women can cultivate what Andrew Irwin-Smiler, a psychologist studying masculinity, calls “camaraderie.” A masculine variation on intimacy, camaraderie assures a man that his masculinity will not be compromised if he is emotional. If you sense your partner wants to open up, but fears he may be judged for having these types of feelings, try imitating the masculine by stating you'd like to listen to him without bias. Then, really do that, no matter how tempting it is to react or give advice. Instead, ask follow-up questions. You might be surprised at the resulting closeness.
4. The Friendship Factor
Along those lines, another essential relationship for men that can reduce the temptation of infidelity is the male friendship. “We don't talk to boys about relationships, so guys have a smaller vocabulary for those connections,” says Irwin-Smiler. But they do speak the same language. Women can protect their relationships by supporting their husband's friendships with other guys. It expands the vocabulary men have for the important bonds in their lives and fills the vacuum of intimacy that is often compensated for with inappropriate romances.
5. Grow (Up) Together
Just because you've been with each other since your early 20s doesn't mean you've both developed together — or at the same pace. In many cases of infidelity, couples “have not helped each other grow up,” says psychologist Sylvia Lafair. One easy way to mature with your partner is to make (and meet!) goals together. For example, if you've lived in the same house for decades and you're both tired of doing housework every weekend, start a discussion about moving to a new place — you never know, he may be feeling the same way. And advocating for his aspirations will make him feel seen in a different way, something an affair often promises.
6. No Subject Should Be Out-of-Bounds
A chief temptation for men is the confidante. Someone who really “gets” him. (Granted, this can be a delusion, since the one who truly gets him is probably at home.) But the novelty of being able to discuss topics that cause marital tension is hard to resist. Avoid having off-limit subjects in your relationship — and don't be afraid to call his bluff by asking the tough questions: How do you feel about our sex life? What would you like in our marriage that you don't already have? A relationship immune to tension is impossible, but tensions from topics that have become off-limits can be detrimental. Putting things back on the table goes a long way toward keeping you as his confidante.
7. Talk Is Good, but Action Can Be Better
Women have a tendency to want to talk things out. This is wise in principle, except for when it becomes all you do. For men, relief from that cycle can be found in a person who replaces analysis with joyful activity. Women should not censor themselves to maintain a relationship, but substituting talk with an activity you both love is a powerful reminder of unity, one that can reignite the reasons you chose each other. Change things up a little; instead of talking about how you feel like the two of you aren't connecting lately, make a connection happen! If you both love food, try registering for a couple's cooking class with a type of cuisine neither one of you knows anything about. You'll both start at the same level and have to look to each other for guidance and support, which is a new way of connecting for both of you.
8. Reimagine Masculinity
Many of us — both men and women alike — grew up with an idea of what maleness is: often characterized with terms like aggressive, unemotional, dominant, fearless. But just as women's roles in society have changed over the last 50 or so years, it's important to recognize that men's have as well. If you're constantly knocking or teasing a guy for doing something “un-guylike,” he may search out someone who lets him be himself. Try rethinking what makes a man masculine and encouraging his unconventional qualities, such as a passion for poetry, gardening or interior decorating. Such encouragement may eventually make him more unconventional in terms of intimacy, too.
9. Do Not Fear Your Dark Sides
Pioneering psychiatrist Carl Jung believed delving into one's shadow side — not fleeing from it, as we typically do — held great potential in helping people reach wholeness. This same idea can be applied to relationships. The shadow sides of a partnership (i.e. the areas we avoid going to in order to stay in our “happy” place) are often what will push a spouse to seek a corrective outside it. Ask yourself where you and your spouse are most at odds. Next, identify those qualities that define the polarization, noting the ones that cause you the most resentment. (Often, these are the same qualities we need to cultivate in ourselves.) In addressing those, you begin to balance yourself, freeing your partner from doing so and eliminating the dependencies that hinder a marriage's wholeness.
10. Absence Does Make the Heart Grow Fonder
Diamonds, delicious nonfat ice cream, a quality chick flick ... women like what's rare in this world. Yet, they rarely appreciate scarcity in their relationships. Sometimes, the best strategy to ward off a wandering eye is to give your partner the opportunity to miss you. So, go ahead — take that yoga class or volunteer, even if it means he's by himself a couple of nights a week. Just like women need to sample the occasional rarity to make life valuable, men better understand value when sampling a little competition — even if it's just in terms of the time they get to spend with you.
Huffington Post | Barbara Fenig First Posted: 08-31-10 08:26 AM | Updated: 08-31-10 10:21 AM